It's a City Hall Takeover, and We Couldn't Be Happier
Oct 09, 2008 | 28388 views | 0 0 comments | 2532 2532 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Amid chants of “Four More Years,” Michael Bloomberg will once again ride his lime-green convertible SUV limousine (the one with the Jacuzzi and the Yosemite Sam mud-flaps) all the way back into City Hall’s parking garage for another four years of mania, mayhem, and money as mayor of our fair city.

And Pol Position couldn’t be happier. Bloomberg’s flagrant violation of the City Charter, voter referendums, and old-fashioned common sense may not be the best news for the City of New York, but for New Yorkers, it’s the bee’s knees. As our city’s chief executive officer (that’s CEO for our minimum wage earning readers), Mayor Bloomberg not only leads, but also sets an example for all New Yorkers, and by flagrantly violating the City Charter, he’s setting the pace for a plague of bad behavior by New Yorkers everywhere.

As our loyal readers know, Pol Position hardly ever plays by the rules. After all, once we get hopped up on Night Train, it’s tough for us to even think straight, let alone keep on the straight and narrow. But when average, ordinary Joe Sixpack begins to follow the mayor’s example of selfish and underhanded activity, we can expect nothing less than bedlam in our streets.

Our dear mother was a sweet, law-abiding senior citizen until she saw Mayor Bloomberg’s flagrant disregard for law and order, and she has now turned over a larcenous leaf. We came home from a hard day of work, went to kiss her goodnight, and found that she was watching a new flat-screen plasma television that she had taken from a shop on Jamaica Avenue. She just walked in and took it, like Bloomberg will soon be taking the next four years of our political lives.

If Bloomberg, the mega-rich, mega-successful, mega-handsome Mayor of New York City carries through with his “Might Makes Right” policy, crime will no longer be the province of the criminal underclass. Another four years of Bloomberg means more muggings, more beatings, more poaching of endangered animals, more copyright infringement, and, flying in the face of FDA recommendations, more consumption of undercooked meat.

On the down side, Pol Position is getting a little bit sick of discussing the same members of City Council over and over again. Because, if the mayor gets his way with term limits, then the Council is going to want in too. Next month marks the 97th Anniversary of our very first column in this newspaper, and in that time we have yet to see a less interesting lot then our current crop of city representatives. Our loyal readers know that this Council has been particularly difficult to goof on, and it’s mostly because they’re so incredibly boring!

Our readers don’t care if James Gennaro is introducing legislation to regulate the ratio of marshmallow pieces to non-marshmallow pieces in boxes of Lucky Charms, nor do they care about Bill de Blasio’s resolution to ban open toed shoes from the Brooklyn Museum for fear of “stinking the place up.” They are just so blah, and we don’t think we can suffer through another four years of writing about them.

Why, just two terms ago, the council was full of scoundrels. In 1998, we saw former Mayor Ed Koch, who was there to testify before the Council’s subcommittee on Recreational Arson and Knife-Play, get punched in the face by then Speaker Peter Vallone, Sr. after a heated argument regarding a lunch order during which Koch crossed an invisible line that Vallone had drawn on the ground with his foot. Now those were the days when Pol Position could sink our teeth into an issue. Although, if the Council does stay around for a third term, maybe they’ll pick up on some of the mayor’s disregard for following rules and start a ruckus of their own.

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