We here at Pol Position have a lot to be thankful for this year. It was a wild 11 months, what with the elections all over the city and so many or our elected officials splitting their time between the legislative chambers and judges' chambers. In the spirit of the holiday season, we thought we would take a quick look back at all we have to be thankful for:
• Elections, Special or Otherwise – We don't know about you dear reader, but we're all voted out! Between special elections and the primaries and the general election, we feel like we spent just about as much time in the voting booth as we did in our favorite booth at our favorite bar just blocks from City Hall. But truly, we wouldn't have had it any other way. (Well, actually, we think you would see a much higher voter turnout if you could vote in the booth of your neighborhood bar. As soon as we finish this column, we'll get started on a persuasive letter to the Board of Elections to look into that. If they can put closed-circuit televisions in local watering holes to promote off-track betting, surely they can do the same with voting.)
• Albany Ineptitude – Oh you state legislators, is there any better source of copy? When your not busy wrangling over the laws you'll never get passed, you're generally busy breaking them. When our forefathers had the foresight to create three separate branches of government, we don't think they could have envisioned the three-ring circus that is Albany. If they had, they might have ditched the Constitution all together and pleaded with the king of England to take them back. Oh well, at least you don't live in California, right?
• Turkey Giveaways – There isn't much to be thankful for about here, just that we love politicians getting in the act of giving away turkeys during November. It makes us feel like we are living in a medieval feudal society, they our lords and we their loyal peasant population. Seriously, it's a nice gesture to help out the needy, and it gets the gears in our brains a-turning, which we've been told is never a good thing. Why not keep track of how many turkeys a politician hands out during the season, and then crown a Turkey King? Maybe next year.
• Drank – That's right, Drank, the hot new beverage straight out of Houston. What, you haven't heard of Drank, yet? We spend a lot of time waxing poetic about our love of Night Train Express Wine Coolers when we need to take a little break from the political world and collect our thoughts, but when we really need to “slow our roll” – like on election night – nothing works quite like Drank, the “extreme relaxation beverage.” It's just like Red Bull, except exactly the opposite, and it's akin to “purple drank,” the concoction of codeine syrup and soft drink that was popularized in the Houston hip-hop scene, except perfectly legal. Although, we suggest you heed the warning on the can that warns not to drink more than two cans in 24 hours. We had three on election night, and woke up two days later only to find that three Republicans from Queens were elected to the City Council! We're still trying to piece that one together.
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving from the Pol Position desk.