No foolin', this is the greatest struggle since Odin threw down the frost giant Ymir!
The “First Atheling” is actually Dan Halloran, who by day is a prosecutor with political ambitions. His “unique” religious beliefs were widely reported in poorly disguised hack job printed in a local Queens rag, and have gained little traction since they were revealed. It's possible that the disenfranchised voters of northeast Queens are ready for a sword-wielding pagan who swears allegiance to mythical Norse gods to represent them in the City Council.
You have to admit, it's quite a unique religious background for a man who is running on the usually conservative Republican ticket, but it turns out that Halloran isn't the only person working in the Republican party who might have a skeleton or two in the closet.
The New York Times revealed recently that a pollster working for Mayor Michael Bloomberg can trace his lineage all the way back to Count Chocula, er, Count Dracula, according to family legend. But perhaps a more disturbing fact is that Bernard Whitman is obsessed with Richard Nixon and read his autobiography at the age of 12.
Let's see, a corrupt leader and a bloodsucker (which let you guess which is which) – that's quite the pair of role models.