Press Releases We'd Like to See
Mar 10, 2009 | 23717 views | 0 0 comments | 1345 1345 recommendations | email to a friend | print
In the past few weeks, a major metropolitan daily newspaper ran a cartoon that many felt was in extremely poor taste. While we would rather not comment on the content of the cartoon nor print the name of the newspaper that commissioned and ran it in their editorial pages, if you have been following any kind of news, you’ve probably heard about it, and maybe even seen it. (It even ran in a commercial for a nightly news program during an episode of Lost, thus ensuring that any of our readers with excellent taste have an idea of what we are discussing.)

The cartoon in question was subject to a number of outrageous remarks, as politicians, critics, the media elite, and even just plain ordinary people threw up their hands in disgust at the offensive cartoon.

But hey, we’re not here to criticize work done in the private sector, even if the particular portion of the private sector we’re discussing is a very public media outlet, and even if the work in question is the latest tasteless piece from a creator who has been known to put out wildly offensive work in the past.

Although, if one were to actually tear out the cartoon and eat it, perhaps with a sprinkling of cayenne pepper or tossed in a bowl of stew, it likely wouldn’t be that tasteless, in a literal definition of the term.

We at Pol Position like to think we’re above commenting on mere muckracking by lesser media outlets, but we felt that it was important to obliquely lay the groundwork for a particular response to the work in question that we found, while certainly honorable and optimistic, somewhat lacking in initiative.

While many community leaders and elected officials appropriately responded to the obviously political and subtly racially charged cartoon with outrage and even protest, a fire that was fanned by the newspaper in question’s subsequent “stick it to you” apology, one man responded in a modest, appropriate, and dignified fashion, by effectively canceling his subscription to the newspaper. Unfortunately, that man is Councilman Leroy Comrie, and he felt it was necessary to send out a press release alerting other members of the media that he, Councilman Leroy Comrie, was officially canceling his subscription to the newspaper.

We understand that his reasons for doing so were politically and socially minded, but to send a press alert announcing such a mundane, ordinary activity is really pushing it. We could guess that politicians drop subscriptions to publications, both national and local, all the time, based on their particular morals and ideals, but it’s not something that Pol Position needs to hear about. But then again, maybe we do.

For Immediate Release:

Yassky Cancels Subscription to Entertainment Weekly

NEW YORK, NY- New York City Council Member David Yassky announced today that he has formally cancelled his office’s subscription to Entertainment Weekly, in response to their hailing of John Turturro’s recent role in the Adam Sandler comedy, “You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.”

“While Mr. Turturro is one of our finest actors, and his small but crucial role in Mr. Sandler’s film may expose him to wider audience and help financially provide for his family, I believe that the actor is debasing himself by performing in such a lowbrow comedy,” stated Council Member Yassky. “Entertainment Weekly’s endless praise of the film in it’s pre-release preview material, interviews with the cast of ‘Zohan,’ and post-release ‘Year’s Best,’ ’Overlooked Comedies,’ and ‘Sequels We’d Love to See’ top ten lists have only served to remind me of how far the great actor’s career has fallen. I have joined my good friend Harold Beamer, who I grew up with, and my across the street neighbor Jane Daley in their call for the Federal Communications Commission to review federal policies which allow Entertainment Weekly’s parent company, Time Warner, to own multiple media outlets.”

Actually, we quite enjoyed reading that little tidbit from the life of an elected official, and side with his opinion that Turturro really should be doing better things with his career. He was Barton Fink, for crying out loud!

We can imagine a political climate in which we open our email inbox to learn other fascinating tidbits about city officials, like Tony Avella going out to check his mail in his underwear, Eric Gioia killing three mice in his apartment through the use of a peanut butter baited glue trap, and Letitia James’ recipe for paella that really wowed her bridge club last Thursday night.

Of course, these pols could easily tie their material into some greater issue like rights to privacy, the death penalty, and Spanish cooking, respectively, thus informing, educating, and making an important political statement about whatever can be tangentially related to the issue at hand.

For Immediate Release:

Pol Position Passes Out After Consuming Three Bottles of Night Train

Urges Community to Leave Us Alone While We Recover from Hangover

NEW YORK, NY- New York City’s Beloved Pol Position announced today that it has formally “given up” for the day by consuming three (3) bottles of Night Train brand fortified wine. The decision was in response to the crippling stress brought on by the crushing deadlines and high journalistic standards it faces each and every day.

“While we generally enjoy putting together our weekly column, sometimes enough is enough,” stated Pol Position, who has put back at least three bottles of Night Train by 5 p.m. every day this week, and earlier on Sunday. “We have joined with the editorial, advertising, and design staff to imbibe and truly cut loose in self-destructive ways. By consuming such voracious amounts of alcohol, we are doing our part to keep fortified wine out of the hands of New York City’s teen population, where it could do some real damage.”

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