It's like we just did a political keg stand
Aug 25, 2009 | 21557 views | 0 0 comments | 1070 1070 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Goslings, our head is virtually spinning right now, and it's not because of that six pack of Night Train Express Wine Coolers we drank last night while watching all of the debates we had piling up on our TiVo.

No, it's the debates themselves that have our head spinning! This election year and the black market cigarettes we buy from the nice fellow down the block will no doubt combine to send us to an early grave.

Currently, we're only focusing on the races that the World's Only Bi-borough Weekly actually covers, as well as a few citywide races, and we are still losing our minds. Who was that that stopped by our office last week for an interview? Was it Doug Biviano Van Bramer? And isn't he running against Dierdre Yassky de Blasio for City Council Comptroller? Despite what you might believe, Pol Position has never had the patience required to even make it through a full game of Toejam & Earl, let alone sit down and pour over the positions, platforms, and politics of all of these candidates.

We have to make an admission here: we stopped caring about endorsements a long, long time ago. Our inbox is full of them, and how do you expect us to keep track of just which candidate the Federation of Democratic Roller Dancers endorsed in the 26th District, or who the Brooklyn Democrats for Some Reform But Not Enough to Totally Upset the Status Quo are backing in the race for mayor? Unless you are getting endorsed by the Pope, please stop e-mailing us.

But this week has been especially busy, what with so much other political white noise swirling around the elections. Let's take a look back, shall we?

First, you had the report that the pension funds under current comptroller and mayoral hopeful William Thompson didn't perform quite as well as similar pension funds across the country, which the mayor's campaign folks immediately jumped on, which in turn prompted Thompson's people to circulate old footage of the mayor calling Thompson perhaps the “greatest” comptroller the city has ever had. That's nice, but that doesn't mean that Bloomberg thinks Thompson would make the greatest mayor this city has already had. No, that position is currently filled, thank you very much.

Then there was the whole issue of John Liu, the current Flushing councilman and comptroller candidate, who may or may not have worked in a sweatshop as his current television ads claim. A Daily News reporter was granted an interview with Liu's mother and asked about her son's days in the garment factory, which she downplayed. Liu released a statement after the article - which focused entirely on his mother's claims and wasn't the in-depth profile he was expecting - explaining that his mother was reluctant to talk about the experience.

Our favorite part, however, was that the Daily News reporter asked Liu if he could produce a decades-old pay stub from his time working underage illegally in a Long Island City sweatshop for nickels on the dollar. Why stop there, how about a W-2 and three years worth of filed tax returns from elementary school, huh Mr. Liu? We have to say, this is a pattern with Liu. We have repeatedly heard rumors that when he was nine he owned a 1970 Topps Tom Seaver baseball card with a forged signature that was actually penned by Nolan Ryan and the coolest dragon's eye marble that you have ever seen, both of which he has been unable to produce after repeated requests.

And what Pol Position these days would be complete without a mention of our favorite governor, David Paterson? Paterson was back in the news this week for some comments he made on a radio show over the weekend that suggested all of the harsh criticism he was receiving was because he was black. And the race card came up in the flop!

That charge was quickly downplayed by Staten Island State Senator Diane Savino, who said Paterson isn't a horrible governor because he's black, it's because he's blind. And the blind card (is that a term) has come up in the river! They're not afraid to call it like they see it on Staten Island.

And we didn't even touch on comptroller candidate Bill de Blasio using his family in his campaign literature, Senator Chuck Schumer making an appearance at Sunday's Jello Pool Party in Williamsburg (not much news there, but you could have caught DJ Girl Talk and met Chuck Schumer, if you actually wanted to experience either of those things), or Norm Siegel hiring Michael Oliva as his strategic advisor, the same Michael Oliva who recently left the campaign of Siegel's opponent, Eric Gioia (inside information, anyone?).

Oh yeah, and what about Gioia hiring his wife's political consulting company and paying her upwards of $100,000 to provide...oh just forget it, we need to find some aspirin.

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